Share Responsibility During Festivals 

As the festive season makes its grand arrival, Hindu families across Nepal are fully engaged in preparing for Dashain, the most anticipated celebration of the year. Homes will soon resonate with laughter, warmth, and the joy of togetherness as family members, scattered far and wide, return to their roots to celebrate the festival with loved ones. Today marks the sixth day of Dashain, a grand ten-day Hindu festival that holds a special place in the hearts of Nepalis. Offices will soon close from the day of Fulpati, the seventh day of this ten-day festival, marking the beginning of family gatherings, where people will enjoy delicious feasts, fly kites, play cards, and engage in cherished traditions passed down through generations.

Unseen burden

However, beneath the surface of joy and festivity lies an often-unacknowledged reality: the invisible labour of women that quietly supports these celebrations. Women wake at the crack of dawn, preparing for the festivities while ensuring that every tradition is followed in the right order. Throughout the day, they sweat in the kitchen, cooking festive delicacies with care and serving them with a warm smile. They tidy the house and check off their to-do lists, ensuring their family savours every moment of the celebration. 

Meanwhile, they embrace the lively chaos from the living room, where male family members shout with joy as they play cards, and from the roof, where they fly kites, all while calling for snacks and issuing orders. 

Amidst this whirlwind, they can't find a moment to sip their tea or catch their breath, moving from one task to another without any time to truly enjoy the festivities themselves. Yet they accept the responsibilities of the festival with joy, driven by love and care for their families.

This narrative resonates with mothers, wives, sisters, and countless women across households. Except for a fortunate few where responsibilities are equally shared between men and women, whether financial or household, this narrative remains the same in most homes.

Whether it’s about careful planning of meals, the cleaning, or preparing offerings for rituals, it is the hands and hearts of women that ensure the festival runs smoothly. Yet, this immense effort often goes unnoticed.

While festivals such as Dashain and Tihar are intended to be joyful occasions filled with togetherness, for many women, they also bring added stress and exhaustion. This is particularly true for those balancing paid work outside the home with the responsibilities of festival preparations. According to the 2022 Demographic and Health Survey, approximately 40 per cent of married women are employed, with 76 per cent of married women aged 15-49 participating in the workforce. This marks a significant milestone for women’s empowerment in Nepal. 

As more women join the workforce, they find themselves in the same professional environments as their male counterparts, while also facing distinct pressures stemming from their multiple roles and conflicting gender expectations. Consequently, stress becomes an unavoidable reality.

Society still strongly believes that women are solely responsible for festival preparations. Whether deciding the menu or ensuring the house is spotless, women bear the burden of making everything perfect, especially in traditional families that adhere closely to rituals. This expectation often goes unchallenged, perpetuating a cycle of gendered responsibilities that many women feel compelled to uphold.

Cultural significance 

In Nepal, where festivals like Dashain and Tihar hold profound cultural significance, women play a crucial role in preserving these traditions. Through their relentless efforts, they keep cultural practices alive, ensuring that the values and customs of previous generations endure. As custodians of rituals, women prepare each offering, prayer, and meal with care. However, this important role comes at a personal cost, as they often experience physical and mental fatigue due to the unequal division of labour within households.

Despite the countless sacrifices women make to ensure that festivals appear flawless, men in patriarchal societies often overlook the immense burden women carry during the festive season. When the issue is raised, some even label it as radical activism, accusing it of attacking cultural values. Even certain men who assist with household chores may perceive their contributions as a favour, neglecting the fact that the home is equally their responsibility.

Festivals should ideally be a time for rest, reflection, and celebration for everyone. However, the heavy burden placed on women often leaves them with little opportunity to enjoy the festivities themselves. The pressure of meeting family expectations, juggling household responsibilities, and fulfilling festive duties can diminish the joy that women strive to create for others.

In today’s context, where women contribute to both family and society in numerous ways, it is crucial to recognise their efforts and work towards a more equitable distribution of responsibilities. Preparing for festivals should not fall solely on women’s shoulders. Every member of the household, man, woman, or child, can play an active role in sharing the tasks that go into making these celebrations memorable.

By distributing the work more evenly, families can not only relieve the mental and physical burden on women but also provide them with the space to fully participate in the celebrations, relax, and enjoy the moment, just like any other household member. This change requires challenging long-held patriarchal norms and embracing the idea that festival preparations are not a woman’s duty alone but a shared family responsibility.

As we prepare for Dashain and Tihar this year, let’s take a moment to reflect on how much effort goes into making these celebrations special and who carries that load. 

While families indulge in the joy of Dashain, a ten-day celebration dedicated to worshipping Goddess Durga and seeking her blessings, it is essential that all family members share the responsibility of ensuring that the true goddess of their home, the woman, feels valued and has the opportunity to enjoy the festivities. Just as they honour the divine, they should also show respect for the women in their lives, acknowledging their hard work and allowing them to partake in the celebrations.

By collaborating and sharing the festive responsibilities, families can create a more joyful, balanced, and inclusive celebration for all. After all, the essence of celebration lies in the moments families create together.

(The author is a jounalist at The Rising Nepal.)