Price Of Happiness

If you could grant your loved ones a single wish, what would it be? My wish is for my loved ones to be happy. On the surface, this sounds cliché. Most people associate happiness with a feeling that comes and goes. Why would I bestow on them such a fleeting favour?

In reality, I wish something deeper for my loved ones. I want them to feel fulfilled with the trajectory of their lives. I want them to discover who they are and what they stand for. I hope they derive meaning from the pursuit of goals aligned with their values. When using the term happiness, I am not referring to a feeling. Rather, I am speaking of the concept of eudaimonia. Coined by Aristotle, eudaimonia represents an enduring sense of fulfillment stemming from living a meaningful life. Meaning is derived from knowing who you are and pursuing goals that are aligned with your values. 

In the words of Aristotle: “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence.” When viewed from this perspective, my wish for happiness obtains deeper significance. The question then becomes, how do we find happiness? In search of an answer, we look at society for clues. According to popular narrative, happiness is found in the pursuit of money, fame, power, and success. In other words, become a high-income professional, make a boatload of money, climb the professional ranks, and accumulate a bunch of Instagram followers.

The pursuit of status symbols does not lead to happiness. Take money as an example. Yes, making money solves many life problems. I come from humble beginnings and understand the value of a dollar. However, after a certain point, making more money does not increase happiness. A study of millionaires supports this point. It found that the majority believed they needed more money to increase their level of happiness. This pattern even held for decamillionaires! Yes, the majority of people with a net worth of at least $10 million believed they needed more money to increase their level of happiness.

The same holds for professional success. When I was younger, I believed that becoming a physician would unlock the code to happiness. Little did I know about the prevalence of depression, anxiety, and burnout plaguing physicians. A survey of 7,643 physicians, published in 2025, found that 45.2 percent of physicians were burned out. These findings are not limited to physicians. A look at other professional groups reveals similar trends. According to a national survey of 12,825 licensed attorneys, 21 percent engaged in problematic drinking and 28 percent experienced symptoms of depression. According to a 2021 survey of dentists, 54 percent were found to be at medium or high risk for depression.

Perhaps you believe that buying your dream car or house will make you happy. If this is the case, let me spare you the disappointment. Your sense of satisfaction will fade away along with the shine of your new possession. You are more likely to struggle with envy the moment you notice someone parking their fancier car at their bigger home. The question remains: where do you turn to find happiness? If you want to find happiness, the enduring kind that Aristotle refers to, then you need to pay a price. First, you have to consistently work towards it. Happiness does not come naturally for most of us because, from an evolutionary perspective, the job of your brain is not to make you happy. Its job is to help you survive by keeping you dissatisfied. A sense of dissatisfaction promotes survival. For our ancestors who lived in precarious times, a scarcity mentality motivated them to accumulate resources to endure barren periods.

Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can help counterbalance your brain’s evolutionary tendency to focus on the worst-case scenario. Such practices can help you be more present and appreciate blessings in your daily life instead of being dependent on achieving a future goal for happiness. In addition, invest your time and energy in improving the quality of your relationships. According to the longest-running study on happiness, good quality relationships keep us healthier and happier. Don’t make the mistake of sacrificing your loved ones in pursuit of status symbols. This trade-off will leave you feeling empty and riddled with regrets.

Finally, you are more likely to find happiness if you embrace life's pain points. People often assume that happiness is devoid of suffering. This is not true. You cannot experience happiness without an accompanying pain point. Thinking about some of your most joyful life milestones will illustrate this point. The dream house or car you purchased has come with frustrations due to requiring unexpected repairs. The person you fell in love with and have married is the one you have had arguments with. The children you are raising are a source of worry at night. Happiness cannot be separated from pain. Recalibrate your expectations by having a more realistic perspective of what happiness truly represents.

-Psychology Today