Cycle of Migration and Loneliness of Parents in Nepal

Sangita Pokhrel

As I reflect on the lives of many parents in Nepal today, a pressing question arises: how do they truly feel as their homes grow quieter? My own family is no exception. Out of a once-large family of 13, only my parents-in-law remain in Nepal. Their once-lively home stands silent, with all their children and grandchildren living abroad.

Empty Homes

This story is not just about my family—it is a reality shared by hundreds of thousands of Nepali families. Many parents across the country find themselves alone as their children settle abroad. The once-bustling yards, filled with the laughter of children, now sit overgrown and silent. The rooms that echoed with playful sounds or occasional cries are now sits empty and still. Homes that were once filled with love and shared meals have become quiet, almost deserted, leaving behind a profound sense of emptiness. Festivals like Dashain and Tihar once celebrated with joy and family togetherness, have lost their vibrancy. Parents now offer blessings over video calls, but the warmth and spirit of these celebrations feel distant, as the very essence of togetherness slowly fades away.

Next 10 Years

Despite efforts by schools and universities in Nepal to improve education and reduce the need to study abroad, the trend of young people leaving the country continues to rise. This has led to a significant brain drain, with local universities facing shrinking enrolment rates. However, it is not just students seeking education abroad; highly skilled professionals and workers are also leaving in increasing numbers. According to the data, in 2023 alone, nearly a million Nepalis left the country—775,000 for work and 100,000 for education. This is the largest wave of migration in Nepal's history, and it doesn't even include those heading to India. The departure of both students and skilled workers is creating a vacuum that raises concerns about the future of Nepal’s workforce and economic development.

What does this mean for the future of our country? If this trend continues, what will Nepal look like in the next decade? Will the youth continue to leave, leaving behind only their elderly parents? These are questions that force us to reflect deeply on the direction our society is heading. The lack of opportunities in Nepal compels many to migrate. But if this continues, the structure of our society will face serious challenges.

The elderly population in Nepal will grow, but the absence of young people will be more noticeable. While remittances may bring economic stability, the emotional, social, and familial bonds that hold our communities together will gradually erode. For many elderly parents, this will deepen the loneliness they already feel.

Dilemma of Returning

Many Nepali youths living abroad do have a desire to return to Nepal, but it’s not an easy decision. After settling in foreign countries, they become accustomed to the lifestyle, the facilities, the security, and the better prospects abroad. Returning to Nepal to start a new is fraught with difficulties. The instability, corruption, and lack of opportunities make it hard for anyone who wants to come back and establish themselves.

The pull of foreign lands, with their promises of better healthcare, education, and social security, keeps many Nepali youths from returning. Even those who want to come back fear the uncertainties that await them in Nepal. As a result, many choose the comfort of foreign lands over the struggle of returning to Nepal.

What Can We Do?

The government's efforts to provide basic services—such as quality education, healthcare, and safe transportation—often fall short. Regular reports of plane crashes, unsafe roads, and flooding remind us of the ongoing infrastructure issues. The healthcare system is similarly problematic, with many families having to sell property to cover exorbitant medical costs, placing a severe burden on middle-class households. This makes the idea of returning even more difficult for those living abroad.

Addressing these challenges is no easy task. Many Nepalis have lost faith in political leaders to bring about meaningful change. Even parents hope their children find better futures abroad, and many young people hesitate to invest in a system they see as broken.

But change is necessary. Nepal must create real opportunities for its youth to encourage them to stay—or return. This requires a collaborative effort from both the government and the private sector to promote investment, good governance, and transparency. Reducing corruption and improving infrastructure will create an environment where returning Nepalis feel welcomed and empowered to contribute.

In this context, we must also confront the emotional and social impacts of migration. Financial resources alone cannot replace the love, companionship, and care that are the foundations of strong families and communities. We must find ways to bridge the growing divide between the elderly left behind and the youth living abroad. This is essential for the future of Nepal.

(Author Pokhrel can be reached at sangita@zetvio.com)