Power Of Social Connections

Nearly 20 years ago, while I was attending graduate school at Penn, renowned social psychologist Christopher Peterson asked for a show of hands for those of us who had a “4:00 a.m. friend”—someone we could call in the middle of the night for any reason. He was pleased to see most of us raise our hands. He smiled and told us this was a key factor for our well-being. He then paused, grew very serious, and implored the rest of the class to get a 4:00 a.m. friend right away. Like our lives and happiness depend on it. Because it does, he said. I’ll never forget the earnest look on his face.

In 2023, nearly 1 in 5 young adults across the globe reported having no one they could count on for social support, a 39 percent increase compared to 2006. Young adulthood—defined as individuals in the age range of 18 to 29—was once considered to be one of the happiest phases of life. Sadly, this is no longer the case. Social disconnection is rampant and increasing among today’s youth, according to the latest 2025 World Happiness Report, an annual survey that measures the happiness of more than 140 countries.

The United States’ happiness ratings have fallen another spot this year. They are now at number 23, their lowest position yet. They had peaked at number 11 back in 2012. As we wrote in a previous post, this continued downward trend appears to be due to the decrease in happiness among today’s youth. Further, in an annual 2023 survey, half of U.S. undergraduate college students reported feeling a deep sense of loneliness, a 4.7 percent increase from 2019.

The World Happiness Report dedicated an entire chapter to the importance of social connections and how they can improve the happiness of young adults. Some key findings include the following: Social connection is essential for the well-being of young adults. Friendships help protect individuals from the damaging effects of stress. Social connections greatly enhance subjective well-being. Those who reported having at least one cherished friend were 16 percent more satisfied than those without any close pals.

Early social bonds during young adulthood have enduring effects. Establishing friendships in the first few weeks of college is positively associated with flourishing and negatively linked with developing symptoms of depression over the subsequent years. Many young adults underestimate their peers’ empathy. This empathy perception gap can have serious consequences. They may avoid reaching out and connecting with others and asking for help when needed. And, in turn, they may miss the chance to form deep, meaningful relationships and experience mental distress.

The good news is that interventions that teach young adults about how their community cares for them can help them connect with others, forge close bonds, and reap the well-being effects of authentic connections. In one experiment, researchers presented students with information about their peers’ high levels of empathy and interest in making friends. In brief, researchers hung up posters across campus highlighting the data showing the high percentage of students who are willing to help others who are feeling down. They also offered workshops emphasising the message that their peers are more caring and supportive than they might think.

The undergraduate students who had access to these interventions ended up viewing others as more empathic. Additionally, they were more likely to form new connections and build wider social networks. Students reported taking more social risks by reaching out to strangers, initiating conversations with students they didn’t previously know, and sharing their vulnerabilities. In fact, engagement in these social risk behaviours increased by 11 per cent after the intervention!

In sum, happiness is rooted in trust, kindness, and social connection, as the latest World Happiness Report reconfirms. None of these things cost a dime. Investing time in building authentic relationships with others is key to well-being. Whether you’re young, older, or in-between, it’s never too early or too late to invest in your relationships. Building strong social connections in life—at school, at work, at play—will pay dividends in life.

Almost two decades later, after first meeting positive psychology pioneer Christopher Peterson, his prophetic and profound words about getting a “4:00 a.m. friend” still ring true. It’s some of the wisest advice I ever received. And advice that James and I are doing our best to spread by giving our “Relationships and Research” workshops across the globe. By disseminating this powerful message to everybody, especially today’s youth, we are hopeful for a brighter, more connected, and flourishing future for generations to come.

-Psychology Today