Be Resilient Against Body Shaming

Nepal is currently abuzz with social gatherings, from weddings to thread ceremonies and rice-feeding rituals. However, one recurring complaint among young people at these events is the prevalence of body shaming. At a recent wedding reception, several young attendees, both male and female, noted that more than 80 per cent of the guests made flippant remarks about their appearance. Comments like “Oh, you’ve gained so much weight,” “Your beard is too long,” “Your hair looks so messy,” or “You look like you’re bursting out of your clothes” were common. While older generations also face such remarks, they often brush them off or make such comments to others themselves. 

Younger individuals, however, tend to react more openly, sometimes even pushing back against these remarks. The reality is that everyone, young and old, should develop life skills to combat body shaming and protect their self-esteem. In Nepali society, it is common to comment on someone’s physical appearance as soon as we meet them. As a child, whenever I accompanied my mother to social gatherings, the first remark we often heard was: “Oh my, the mother is so beautiful and fair, but the daughter is so dark and thin!” The same people would then comment on my brother’s weight. Since these remarks were a regular part of our interactions, we learned to brace ourselves against them. At the time, we did not even realise that we were being body shamed.

Social habits 

However, my father was a strong pillar of support. If he was present, he would respond to such comments immediately. If not, he would listen to us later and remind us that what people said was not important, what truly mattered was how we saw ourselves and how we carried ourselves in public. This instilled confidence in us. Now, when I take my mother to events, people who don’t know me often ask her, “Oh, is she your daughter?” or even suggest, “She must be your sister.” However, those who recognise me through my work often respond on my behalf, introducing me professionally. My mother, in turn, expresses pride in being known as my mother. Therefore, decades may fly by but the social habits of people do not change. Generations may be different but habits pass on from one to another.

At social gatherings, I regularly witness people being bombarded with body-shaming comments the moment they arrive. The most common targets are individuals who are overweight, who often hear, “Oh, you’ve gotten so fat!” Both children and adults cringe at such remarks, especially when they are compared to others. While young people today are more vocal in rebutting these comments, social attitudes remain stubbornly unchanged. Despite the dramatic technological and social transformations over the years, from the radio age to the digital era, body shaming persists in the same form. The only difference is that today’s youth are more likely to push back, though not yet to the extent that such remarks cease altogether.

According to a report in The Lancet Diabetes & Endocrinology journal, the term “clinical obesity” should be reserved for individuals whose weight directly contributes to medical conditions, while those who are overweight but otherwise healthy could be classified as “pre-clinically obese.” The report estimates that over a billion people worldwide live with obesity. For those who fall under these categories, body shaming can intensify feelings of low self-worth and even push them toward unhealthy weight-loss practices, including the misuse of fat-loss medications. While some individuals with obesity maintain normal organ function and overall health, others face severe medical challenges. 

However, body shape, skin tone, and overall appearance are influenced by numerous factors, including genetics, lifestyle, and self-esteem. People have the right to decide how they want to look while others have no right to shame them for it. The constant barrage of body-shaming remarks from friends, relatives, and even strangers can have lasting negative effects, particularly on children. Some individuals make these comments thoughtlessly, while others do so deliberately. Regardless of intent, the damage — especially for children, can be profound.

It is time for our society to recognise body shaming for what it is and take steps to stop it, particularly in public settings. Children need to develop resilience against body-shaming remarks. Personally, I choose to remain silent when people make comments about my appearance, as the confidence instilled in me by my parents, especially my father, has shielded me from such negativity. However, many children do not have such support. In fact, in some cases, parents themselves reinforce body-shaming behaviours by making remarks about their children’s weight or skin colour. Both boys and girls experience body shaming, though in varying degrees.

Environment

To bring about meaningful change, efforts must begin at home and in schools. Parents, elders, and teachers must work together to foster children’s self-esteem and actively discourage all forms of body shaming. We must create an environment where children grow up feeling confident in their own skin, without fear of judgment or ridicule. There are several research reports which show that gender-based violence is done mainly by people who are known by the victims and survivors. 

Body shaming is also a form of verbal violence and it is done mostly by people who are known to the victims and survivors. There is a need to support each other, but human nature is such that they enjoy ridiculing others. Therefore, all of us need to be groomed in such a way that we are confident of how we are. Our aim should be to build a society where individuals are valued for who we are rather than how we look. 

(Sharma is a senior journalist and rights advocate. namrata1964@yahoo.com X handle: NamrataSharmaP)