Extravaganza Of Teej Counterproductive

During the last week of August and the first half of September this year, several events were organised where Nepali women were seen wearing red and dancing in homes, at meeting halls in their work places, party palaces and restaurants. So, what were they celebrating? Teej! This is a Hindu festival mainly celebrated all over Nepal and mostly in North India. In Nepal, although this is a Hindu festival, it has been celebrated by different ethnic communities. The festival is dedicated to Goddess Parvati who is portrayed as a symbol of love, devotion and marital bliss in several Hindu mythology and scriptures. However, the feminist movement of Nepal now is alerting the society on a negative trend that might enhance a value system of oppressing women based on gender. 

In Hindu religion, Shiva is the almighty destroyer among the trinity of Brahma, Bishnu and Maheshwor (Shiva). Among the three, although the destroyer, Shiva is also the symbol of love and care who nurtures the nature, animals and all creatures that are human or animals who are discarded by all. Those who work in the cemetery, who tend the dead are all protected by Shiva. Among all, the different stories and beliefs around Shiva, his love story and power over the creation and destruction is feared and revered by the devout Hindus.

Legend 

There are several love stories of Shiva and his consort Parvati which transcends from one yug to another and has become a legend and aspiration for many Hindu followers. According to the Hindu laws and beliefs, daughters were married off at an early age before reaching puberty as many Hindus believed that marrying off virgin daughters would give them salvation. In Hindu households, children grew up believing that for girls, aspiring for a husband like Shiva would help them to have a happy and prosperous lives. Therefore, the unmarried girls and married women started taking nirjala fasting like Parvati did to get Shiva as her husband.  

This fasting literally means fasting for 24 hours without even a drop of water. It has now become a culture and practice followed in Nepal by Hindus but also adapted by other communities who may not be Hindus. This fasting is believed to increase the lives of the husband of the fasting women. This belief has been ingrained so much into the Hindu mindset that I remember a time when my grandmother was suffering with cancer, my father took the fast on her behalf and that made my grandmother feel good that she personally could not fast for my grandfather.  When I grew up seeing my mother, aunts, grandmothers and married sisters suffering because of the restrictions posed on them due to the traditional practices of our culture just because they were women. Seeing the suffering of women during the fasting made me always question as to the relevance of such traditions. 

As the years passed by, times have changed. We are now in the digital age with information at the tips of our fingers, but certain beliefs don’t seem to change. I had a conversation with a group of young professional girls. Many had master’s degrees in different fields. Quite a few of these young ladies still followed the practice of fasting during Teej without taking a drop of water! Education and the fast life these women lead still has not discouraged them to fast as they strongly believe that their husbands’ lives will be lengthened. Another extreme of Teej in today’s Nepal is the extravaganza spent during parties and purchase of new red clothes, and jewellery especially symbolising marriage. Traditionally there used to be one day called the dar khane day which was the day when mothers and mothers-in-laws invited their daughters and daughters-in-law to feast at their home just the day before teej so that they could eat fulfilling feast and fast whole day on teej. 

Now the practice is to organise parties at homes, restaurants and party palaces not only by family members but also by friends, associations and work places. There used to be teej songs which mostly talked about the woes that little girls faced when they got married before they reached puberty and how they were treated in the home away from their birth place. Now these songs have been changed and even men sing teej songs saying how only women dance and enjoy during teej but the men are left behind. There are also songs where young women openly sing expressing that they enjoy their independence of earning and spending in a spree that they decide what to spend on.

Sign of empowerment 

Traditionally mothers and mothers-in-laws together with elders in the family gave their daughters and younger sisters money to buy make up kits mainly bangles, tika and the traditional Nepali ribbon. Now the market has captured the spending desires during teej and the shops are full of attractions for people to buy gifts instead of giving money. Most of the times these gifts may become redundant. I remember when I grew up when women got the money from their elders they usually saved it so they could use it during emergency.

The independent earning and spending by and for women is a sign of empowerment. However, the overall extravaganza of teej is counterproductive for the younger generation. There is a need to now revisit on how has education impacted the mindset of both women and men? While girls’ education may have increased, the gender inequality and stereotyping of beliefs which have no scientific or spiritual proof are still ingrained in this society which needs to be discouraged.

(Namrata Sharma is a journalist and women rights advocate namrata1964@yahoo.com Twitter handle: @NamrataSharmaP)