What Bothers Mothers Most ?

Rishi Ram Paudyal

My mother is eighty-two now and is living a ‘new’ life in Kathmandu. Just about six months’ back, she had fallen seriously ill. Nobody believed she would survive. So, all the family members were called in Pokhara. She had a desire to go to her village. If she died, it was very important for her to do so in the home where she had spent most of her life. Further, she would like her final rites to be carried out at the place where her ancestors, neighbours and relatives were cremated. She was completely bedridden and she couldn’t walk even to go to bathroom. Some relatives who could manage their time came to the hospital with their eyes welled up with tears to say ‘final goodbyes’. There were exchanges of tears as we left the hospital.

A good vehicle of her niece was arranged to carry her and us, the family members, to the village. I was sitting next to my mother holding her as she could not sit on her own. Some relatives who lived on the highway came to the road with tears to bid her farewell. My mother wept saying, “What happened to me. I won’t survive.” In their tearful eyes, they would comfort her saying, “Nothing will happen to you. You will be well.” The moments were so emotional. My mother loved me so much and I reciprocated. 

There’s nobody like mother. This is probably why mothers are highly valued, honoured, and celebrated in different cultures around the world. Mother is a source of life. She is like earth that sustains life. In Sanskrit, it is said, ‘matri devo bhava’ i.e. mother is god. Rudyard Kipling puts mothers in the roles of god as he says, “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” 

In the same way, Agatha Christie presents the intensity and universality of a mother’s adornment and love toward her children as she says, “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” In like manner, Susan Gale sees that it is mothers who hold the family intact as she remarks, “Mothers are like glue. Even when you can’t see them, they’re still holding the family together.” The list could go on and on. 

Coming back to my mother, miracles began to happen to her as she landed in the home she wanted to be. People in the village and neighbouring villages came to see her regularly. Some brought milk, some juices, and others other stuff. Relatives who couldn’t visit her earlier also came to see her. They showed their love and concerns for her. To uplift her, they asserted that she would not die. She felt so happy that so many people came to visit her. 

With happiness, gradually she recovered. She gained ‘new life’. However, there seem to be so many things that bother her. Some of which include:

‘Why so and so haven’t phoned me?’, ‘Where are the people on the road going?’ What is there in the big white sacks in the truck over there?’, ‘Will I die in Kathmandu?’

And I wonder what bothers mothers.