Grief And Growth

Life is a journey with countless moments and memories with various emotions and interactions.  All these not only enrich life, but also shape who we are and how we see the world. Many moments come and pass by, but certain points leave a lasting mark on our lives. These moments can be joyful or painful, often coming without warning and transforming how we think, feel, and live. 

Big life changes usually happen suddenly and unexpectedly, not because we planned them. It includes meeting someone, getting a job opportunity, health changes, winning a prize, losing something important, discovering a passion, and so on. Life gives us many surprises that we never plan, which can be for the better. However, they always come with changes.

Such changes in my life arrived in early September 2022. It was a turning point in my life -- like the moment no one expects or is prepared for. It was also a lesson I needed. Before this event, I believed everything I loved would always be there. I was surrounded by a quiet sense of security of routine: waking up, waiting for the 12th class board’s result, arguing with parents over small things, scrolling through my phone all day. 

Death existed, but only in stories or faraway relatives I barely knew. Then at 3 in the morning, I heard the cry of my grandmother. My mother passed away in her sleep. The world did not stop, but mine did. The cries of my father, grandparents, and brother, and the calls we made. And there was I. I could not shed any tears while all I felt was nothing but emptiness and unreal, as if life had skipped a few pages ahead without giving me time to catch up.

In the weeks that followed, I found myself and my family changing. My relationship with my brother became distant as we both were processing the loss in our own ways, often in silence. Our grandparents became more protective of us, trying to fill in the gaps that could never truly be filled. I also began to realise how distant I was from my father the whole time.

After two months, I started my bachelor's degree, which came with more challenges, with different environments, unfamiliar faces and academic pressure. I was often overwhelmed and mentally exhausted, with no one to share it. But I knew I had to stay strong for both myself and my brother.

That day in September taught me that nothing in life, especially people, is guaranteed, and being with others in the present is important. Now, I carry that moment even though it hurts, but it also fuels me. The loss did not just take something away, but also gave me a new way of seeing things.

Looking back, I realise that this turning point reshaped my perspective on life. It forced me to grow, to value time and relationships deeply and accept that the change is inevitable. Even though grief never truly fades away, it has given me the sense of clarity that I did not have before.