Choices Beyond Love

Pawan's impressive score of 77 per cent on his entrance examinations secured him a well-deserved place at an engineering college, which was a dream of his parents. Pawan believed he was mature enough to cherry-pick a stream of his choice, as it was his future, and he should have decided it. However, in countries like Nepal, the ultimate power of decision-making lies only with parents. 

Soon after the results were out, Pawan's father insisted he pursue his career in engineering. Usually, after eighteen, children can live alone in foreign countries and choose their respective careers. But things are different in Nepal. From choosing a college to finalising a life partner, parents have the right to decide for their child. After all, they do all this for the betterment of their children, and there is no doubt that they inherit this experience from their lives. Pawan's father wanted him to be an engineer. And growing up with their values and sacraments, he had no option but to give up his passion for his parents' dream.

I prefer the same. Kathmandu has good coaching centres,' Baba said, and hung up the phone after discussing with one of their engineer relatives for fifteen minutes.

Baba looked at Pawan. He was not happy with what his father was doing with his life. Baba had kissed him on the cheek after the results were announced. He was jovial with his presumed thoughts of his son becoming a renowned engineer. He never asked about Pawan's dreams. Pawan had no harsh feelings for the engineering profession, but life is more than following the trend. Yes! Engineering was a trend of that time. After completing high school, the only open door that would shape kids' future was "the big gates of engineering college."

'So, Pawan has to go to Kathmandu. Right?' he asked Baba while masking his disappointment.

'Yes, you're grown up now. Our only son will make our family proud,' Baba replied with a smile and signalled him to get inside the kitchen to have dinner.

Mom was busy cooking. The aroma enticed Pawan's taste buds to fall upon the mouthwatering meal prepared by his mother. His mom cooked very delicious food. He would hanker for this home-cooked scrumptious food for the next six months. It could be more than that. Who knew?

They rested themselves on the oval table of their dining room, and Mom always served the food. Pokhara has good tuition centres. He is too young to manage everything independently in an unfamiliar city,' Pawan's mother suggested while arranging the plates on the dining table.

'Kamala, our son has grown up now. And we need to get him enrolled in the finest coaching institution so that he can crack the pre-engineering tests conducted by the top colleges of our country,' Baba replied with a hint of pride in his voice.

His mom was also not happy with his father's decision. Maybe she wanted him to be an engineer, but she didn't want him to leave Pokhara. It's not like Pokhara had no tuition centres and colleges for engineering, but his dad wanted him to prepare in the tuition centre of Kathmandu. He believed Kathmandu had good tuition centres. Pawan was left with no option once his father made the decision.

After having dinner, they surfed the internet to find the exceptional coaching institutions that offered entrance classes for engineering in Kathmandu. A few were located in the most crowded places of Kathmandu, while the others were situated in the outskirts, and they were unfamiliar with those locations. Kathmandu was one of the most inhabited cities of Nepal, and it was challenging for a twenty-year-old young woman to stay alone in an unfamiliar city. But Pawan tried to console himself with soothing words like, "One has to be determined enough to touch the heights of a profession." On the other hand, leaving behind his beloved things, home, and family was a big deal for him. He could have made himself stronger and left everything against his will, but how could he avoid the "love of his life, Mamta"?

Going against his will, with a heavy heart, Pawan had to share this with Mamta too. And as he had anticipated, she was distraught when he told her he would soon be moving to Kathmandu for further studies. They had completed two years of togetherness, but things were swiftly changing. That's life! They had fallen in love with each other at the beginning of their 11th grade. Mamta had been a crucial part of his life since then. Apart from meeting every day in college, they secretly met outside at a pre-decided location every Saturday.

It was yet another Saturday, and they had decided to meet at 'The Heaven Resort.' It was located at the bank of the beautiful Fewa Lake, which unfurled a mesmerising view and tranquillity for which Pokhara and especially Lakeside were famous.

Mamta was looking gloomy and distracted. Her gorgeous face was not luminous. Her beautiful eyes narrated the tale of her melancholy, and she lacked the excitement she used to have in their earlier meetings. While talking over the phone, Pawan had mentioned the tuition centre, and for the same reason, she felt he would be leaving her soon. She had decided to do it in Pokhara. She was intelligent enough to make a place in any of the engineering colleges of Nepal. However, her area of interest was different, and she had chosen to stay in Pokhara. Girls do what they like, and Mamta was no exception to this.

They were parting in a few days and could not see each other frequently. So their Saturday dates would abruptly come to an end, too. But before leaving, Pawan wanted to spend quality time with her. He wanted to celebrate and live every moment of being with her as joyfully as possible. And he tried to carry those priceless memories with him to Kathmandu so that he could spend those lonely days when Mamta would not be with him.

'I am not so happy with your decision,' Mamta said in a low tone as she adjusted her red skirt while sitting on the velvet sofa.

The atmosphere was cosy, and the sun had bid goodbye for the day. The red lamps on the resort were the only source of lighting. With light makeup over her face, she looked decent. The red skirt and white t-shirt fit well on her tall frame. She had put on black goggles, which prevented Pawan from looking into her almond-shaped eyes. Her eyes and slightly pointed nose were the most beautiful things about her face. He recalled the day when he first saw her.

The thought of leaving behind his parents, his lover, and the city he grew up in was overwhelming. The only thing ahead of him was uncertainty, something he was unaccustomed to. 

Though the setting was glamorous, he couldn't enjoy it, as it was always there. At that instant, he couldn't speak, perhaps needing Mamta to console him. He was distant. It was the hardest date he had ever been on. Looking back, little did he know that it was his last date with Mamta.

(Gautam is a writer from Pokhara.)