Experiencing Spirituality

As a psychologist of religion and spirituality, I am often asked what I mean when I use the word “spirituality.” I’ve been studying this topic for 30 years, and though I’ve found some definitions helpful, I’ve always suspected these definitions somehow come up short. For example, a psychologist of religion and spirituality, Ken Pargament, defines spirituality as “The Search for the Sacred.” I like this definition, and in some ways, I rely on it, including in this post. But what exactly is “Sacred?” And how exactly do people go about “searching” for it?

I recently finished reading the book Done: How to Flourish After Leaving Religion, by another psychologist of religion and spirituality, Daryl Van Tongeren. The final chapter, “Post-Religious Spirituality,” offers a fresh way of thinking about these questions that brought me clarity, as it lays out seven different ways of being spiritual. When I read this chapter, something clicked into place and, after all these years, I felt like I understood spirituality differently.

For some, the sacred is found in God or some kind of higher power. This form of spirituality is common, particularly because it’s supported by longstanding religious traditions, rituals, and communities. Van Tongeren notes that faith, at its core, reflects trust in something higher and hope for something beyond present reality—characteristics of theistic spirituality as well. If you would describe yourself as feeling near to God, this may be a defining part of your spiritual life.

For others, the sacred is rooted in a deep connection with the natural world. In essence, nature spirituality involves awe and reverence for the earth and its beauty. This can be witnessed in someone who finds great meaning while walking in the woods, gazing at the stars, or observing an animal. Some may feel this while caring for a plot of land close to home, or working for environmental preservation or justice more broadly. If you feel close to nature, this may be an important form of spirituality in your life.

Some find spirituality in a sense of shared humanity with others. This can be experienced during times of empathy with someone suffering, as well as times in which we’re inspired by another’s goodness. Some may feel this while working on behalf of societal peace or justice. If you feel connected to all humanity, this may be a form of spirituality important to you.

Difficult to describe, transcendent spirituality involves a personal connection with something that feels beyond words, something vast or mysterious. Certain practices, such as meditation or contemplation, may help individuals experience this, but sometimes mystical experiences come out of nowhere. If you feel a connection with something infinite that’s difficult to put into words, you may be tapping into this dimension of spirituality.

For many, spirituality involves more of an inward experience. Rather than serving as an object of worship, the self can be a source of spirituality when there’s a sense of genuineness, congruence, or wholeness that’s felt. If you’ve ever identified your spirituality with the sense of simply being you, undivided and authentic, you’ve known this for yourself.

Some people approach spirituality as an ongoing and unending process of exploration rather than the search for the correct belief system. As Van Tongeren puts it, religious quest values “doubt more than certainty, questions more than answers, and an evolution rather than a constancy.” People on a religious quest do so with curiosity, not with a hope for finality. 

Finally, there’s an approach to spirituality that reflects the deep yearning or emotional pull towards something transcendent. This can be seen in those who don’t want to be confined to a single, conventional religion, but rather follow a desire for something more, wherever it may lead. If you’re high in this kind of spirituality, you’re likely to agree with New York Times essayist David Brooks when he wrote that “faith is more about longing and thirsting than knowing and possessing.”

Of course, people often resonate with more than one of these types of spirituality. Research suggests common patterns. Some individuals feel connected to all sources; others centre their spirituality entirely around a relationship with God; and still others identify with every form except theistic spirituality. These patterns suggest that spirituality is less about strict categories and more about what individuals find meaningful.

Spirituality, Van Tongeren and others remind us, differs depending on the person. There are common themes, involving a search for something sacred, but many paths. It can be grounded in God, nature, humanity, the self, questioning, or the longing for something more. But they do offer a starting point: an invitation to notice what inspires you, what steadies you, what brings you a sense of coming home. 

-Psychology Today