A woman’s endless wait for her husband and son

By Kokila Dhakal,Ilam, Nov. 29: Padam Chapagain of Dhuseni, Deumai Municipality, who left home 18 years ago with 21-year-old son, who was suffering from mental health issues after the armed conflict, for Ranchi, India for treatment, has not returned home yet.

Padam’s wife, Toran Kumari, has been waiting for her husband and son for 18 years, holding onto the belief that her son and husband will return one day. 

Neither Padam nor his son have been found, nor did they leave any word to inform the family of their situation.

Though the tears in Toran Kumari’s eyes have dried up, the family still holds hope that Padam will return home.

Padam, who left for India on July 28, 2006 with his second son Pramod, had been in contact with his home for about seven days. At that time, there was a Code-Division Multiple Access (CDMA) phone.

Toran Kumari recalls, “The phone rang. I was downstairs, the eldest daughter-in-law was talking on the phone in the room upstairs. It was my husband who called.”

“After saying a few words, the phone was disconnected. My daughter-in-law said it was my husband’s call. She told me that it seemed someone took the phone without letting him speak,” she said.

“As told by my eldest daughter-in-law, my husband asked if the cow had given birth to calves and if we had placed a zinc sheet on the roof of the kitchen. Then he mentioned that there had been false accusations against him and asked about our neighbour, Kendra Prasad, to contact him on the same number from which he was calling. That was the last call from that number. The number has been out of service ever since,” said Toran Kumari.

After there was no further information about the whereabouts of his father and brother, Chapagain’s eldest son Surendra, who was working abroad, returned home from Qatar.

Surendra, along with some helpers, went to India to search for his father, Padam, who was 53 and a teacher at the local Kalikadevi Primary School, and his brother, Pramod.

Even after reaching the location his father had mentioned on the phone, Surendra found nothing. He eventually arrived at a hospital in Ranchi, where it was confirmed that his father and brother had not arrived on that specified date.

He came to know that the call his father made was from a place called Alainchi Sanstha in West Bardhaman, Calcutta, India, Surendra said.

“After reaching there, we inquired at the police station. The police informed us that they had arrived late, as the call had been made a month ago,” he added. 

According to Surendra, Padam also carried Rs. 60,000 with him for his son’s treatment at that time.

“That money also caused trouble for my father. If someone had put him in trouble, where was my brother at that time? He must have been wandering around looking for my brother again,” Surendra said.

Surendra added, “After all these years, he should have come. Our hope is still not dead. I don’t think he will forget his family. We still have hope that someday someone will meet him and inform us about my father.”

According to Surendra, Pramod, who had been close to the then rebel parties during the armed conflict after completing his SLC, began experiencing mental health problems following the end of the armed conflict. 

“Initially, he used to join the group of the then rebels at night. When we asked him not to go, he wouldn’t listen. As the conflict ended, his mental health gradually deteriorated, and it became difficult for us to control him due to his condition,” said Surendra.

“Later, his brain stopped working,” Surendra said. “Treatment was the last option for him, which is why my father left for India.”

Padam’s wife, Toran Kumari, now lives with her eldest son, Surendra, and youngest son, Bimal.

“There are Nepalis in India too. If any of them had seen them anywhere, they could have informed us,” Toran Kumari said. “Where can I show the pain of losing both father and son at once? Who can I share my sorrow with? My life is lonely.”