Accepting Things As They Are

Giving up is seen as something negative in society. We are taught never to give up, to stand up again and again after falling down, and to keep on heading towards our goals. But honestly, I personally think that it’s okay to give up sometimes. It’s okay to let things go when you cannot take it anymore and when things get hard enough for you to be suffocating.

 Sometimes, it’s better to imagine worst-case scenarios than to pretend to be confident in something. It’s a mechanism that helps you avoid getting hurt. When you imagine the worst-case scenarios beforehand, it’s easier to be content with the results or with yourself if you fumble or make minor mistakes. The mentality of “at least I avoided the worst-case scenario” sweeps in to calm you down. 

The world is not always glorious and full of happiness. We are taught to always face our goals, but what about our failures? The bright side of the moon doesn’t symbolise the absence of its darker side. When you always look at the good side of things and forget about everything else, it becomes difficult to accept it when things get a little rough. Therefore, it’s okay to see things from multiple angles before settling on one. We have to learn to look at not just a broad horizon but also at what lies beyond it.

 Being unable to look at life clearly leads to self-harm. Yes, it is true that in this vast universe, we are but specks of dust. People give birth and die with each passing second. What even is the purpose of such a short period of time on earth among these many people competing against each other to reach the top? It’s going to end anyway. Birth and death are two sides of the same coin. Nobody can escape this duality. 

Nor does anybody know about what happens afterwards. But even so, one has to live. Struggle for life and struggle to breathe. However tiny a speck of dust we may be in the vast galaxy, space, and universe, we hold individualism. 

We may have no purpose or importance, but we do have the power to create it. Searching for one’s purpose might as well be the whole point of life. Just give up on the things that you absolutely don’t want to do or cannot do. You possess the power to decide your own worth. Know that you don’t need to live your life the way society wants you to. Focus on the things that you actually can and like to do. Get better at it and learn to make a living through it.

 People tend to hide away in self-harm when things don’t go their way. When I say self-harm, I don’t just mean inflicting physical pain on your body. I perceive self-harm as a coping mechanism individuals employ to prevent harm from others. It comes in different forms, from mild to severe. 

It may be isolating oneself or overworking yourself. Some may stress themselves to the point of losing their memory as a result of emotional trauma, while others may delude themselves as being at fault to the point of being suicidal. Overeating when stressed or not eating at all are also forms of self-harm, since they disturb your regular bodily functions and basically harm you. 

 More severe forms of self-harm include alcohol and drug abuse. Why are people addicted to drugs and alcohol in this day and age of knowledge and information, even when their effects are apparent? Because they use it as a means to get by. 

They use it as a means to escape reality and enter their land of dreams for a short period of time. They get addicted not to the drugs and alcohol but to the ecstasy of leaving the real world that it provides. This is a type of non-materialistic addiction that drags people into a never-ending cycle of not wanting to face reality and diving deep into a state of seclusion.

When it gets too much to take, people resort to these activities, whether consciously or unconsciously. It’s like you would rather hurt yourself than let anybody enter your radar or violate your personal space. It seems that inflicting a different kind of pain eases the proximate pain and lowers the voice inside your head. I’ve been using the phrase “give up” repeatedly, and yet again, I say that it’s rather good to give up and start anew than go through any sort of pain. Understand and admit your mistakes. Embrace them. 

Build yourself. Stay strong. Don't ever get embarrassed for not being able to do something the right way. Heal yourself. Self-harm may not lead you to anything new, but giving up things to change paths for the greater good definitely will. It’s never too late to explore new things. It’s never too late for self-discovery. It’s never too late to find your true self.

(Rajak is pursuing higher secondary education at St. Mary’s School.)