Story Of Pain And Tragedy

Death is defined and interpreted in many ways. Medical science sees it as a complete dysfunction of vital organs, leading to lifelessness, while spiritual perspectives regard it as a journey to the next world. It is believed that the fate of the dead in Yamalok is determined by their deeds in the Martyalok. Where there is life, there is death. It is unavoidable, but untimely death is a disaster. It is disastrous indeed for the relatives who are loved and brought up by the departed.

There are myriad causes of death, ranging from natural calamities to human-caused accidents. In many cases, knowingly or innocently, people make themselves diseased, leading to the termination of their lives. 

Whatever kind of death we face, it is appalling and agonizing. Life, despite challenges and hostilities, is full of love that emotionally binds family members and relatives. 

It is therefore a huge emotional setback for one when he or she loses loved ones.

The book under review, 'Mrityu Diary: Biyogdekhi Yogsamma' penned by Dr. Tulasi Acharya, revolves around the above issues, with a special focus on death. The description of death is incomplete if it is not compared to life and love. These issues are dwelt on thoroughly while explaining suffering, parental care and fuss, and children's responsibility towards parents in the book, where there is a story of a double disaster—the deaths of parents in five months' gap—to a daughter.

The diary or book is written by a relative, the son-in-law (jwai) of the victims: the father-in-law (Sasura) dies at the age of 62, and the mother-in-law (Sasu) dies at 51. The father-in-law dies after five months of the passage of the mother-in-law. As the mother-in-law died all of a sudden, the suffering began in the daughter's life.

It is the account of a witness to the tragedy that befell his wife. The book is therefore a real story involving parents, two daughters, and two sons-in-law. The events take place in Pokhara and Kathmandu cities. 

Time is so cruel that Nepal was engulfed by COVID-19, spreading terror and threats to life as the young ones strive to treat diseased seniors. The two daughters and two sons-in-law continue engaging with the treatment of an ailing father or father-in-law who suffers from cancer, despite the utmost adversity. 

The roles of parents and subsequent traumatic experiences, especially those of the writer's spouse, are centred in the book.

Her mother's death comes more unexpectedly than that of her father's, as there were no symptoms or signals of any illness in her, while her fathers was later detected to have cancer. Emotionally enfeebled after the mother's death, the agonised state of the daughter, Kripa, is shed light by the writer, who also involves assuaging the spouse's pain. 

Kripa's husband and youngest son-in-law, who writes the book, has to make frequent travels to and from Kathmandu and Pokhara despite his recent opportunity to teach at a university in the US after acquiring a PhD. He also faces the question of whether to quit his job in the US and continue caring for and collaborating with his wife, who has faced unprecedented tragedy in life. Luckily, his boss allows virtual teaching, citing his quandary and crisis.

In addition to the suffering faced by the two daughters after the sudden passing away of their parents, the book talks in length about Nepal's health system, which is full of hassles for patients, and gender bias. As the couple meeting untimely deaths had no sons, the daughters had no option but to carry out additional responsibilities. 

However, the entrenched gender bias in Nepali society grates the writer's wife, Kripa, when she is not allowed to mourn her father's death equally as her senior sister during the death ritual of kiriya (obsequy). She was even censured that if she observed obsequy for more than five days, the dead ones (pitris) would face problems! Kripa also writes a media article about the discrimination she faces while observing pritri karma.

The writer is engrossed in life, death, and meaningful life, with extensive references from philosophers, poets, essayists, and ethicists. The allusions range from a revered Hindu scripture, 'Mahabharat', and from 'Waste Land', a seminal modern poem by TS Eliot. The invocation of philosophy on the termination of life and yearning to seek meaning makes the book meditative and literary. 

"The views of eminent figures indicate that living a meaningful life is fostering humanity, understanding others' sorrow, and responding properly to the birth (life) and death of anyone who undergoes anguish," the writer states (p. 244).

As the book is a diary on death, it relates much about the throes of the person facing imminent death. But it fails to adequately share the 'lived experience' of death—burnout, spasm, frantic pain, and throes undergone by the person in the ultimate days of life. 

'Lived experience' is the firsthand personal experience. But the 'live experience' or the indirect experience of suffering is described more. 

Although callous death comes to claim his life by making his vital organs non-functional, he does not explain or even share. 

He seems to welcome death, but daughters and relatives are panicked by his pain and afraid of death and the subsequent loss of attachment and emotion.

Losing a mother and father in a five-month' gap is the biggest tragedy in one's life, which is described meticulously in this book. Finally, the reader can wonder: Is the book a diary or literary work? It delves into both genres. 

The literary features of fiction have lifted it out of mundane death details, while the notes on death bring lively facts. 

It is a memoir as well. The narration of tragedy with a special application of suspense, climax, and denouement finely draws traits of fiction from this oeuvre. 

Research is another equally important aspect of this memoir, where the writer studies much on pancreatic cancer, the influential people losing lives to this sort of cancer, palliative care with the administration of ‘morphine' and even the experience of a doctor while undergoing death pangs of cancer. The memoir is the writer's honour to his spouse's devotion to parents, which reflects many such stories in our society. 

The book is published by Bhundipuran Prakashan.