Power Of Choice

In the epic Ramayana, Kaikeyi was a negative character. She was condemned by the kingdom for using the two boons granted by her husband to exile Ram. This is the accepted version of the story. But a different perspective on the character makes you wonder how a queen was criticised for a decision which was necessary for Ram to become the person he was meant to be. She had a choice and therefore these boons were also a reflection of the power she held to influence the lives of everyone associated with her. 

Children are considered to be incapable of taking a decision. It is a common belief that adults know what is best for the child. This perception, however, prevents children from sharing their thoughts and parents from trying to make an attempt to hear their voices. No one likes to feel helpless and this includes even the children. If we pay attention to their tantrums, we can understand how this is their way of asserting their position. While we cannot give in to every tantrum of the child, we can try to offer them a choice when possible. This could be as simple as letting them decide their attire or for advanced tasks such as creating a daily routine. Parents fear providing autonomy will spoil their kids but when monitored, it helps develop critical thinking, independence and a strong sense of self. 

Now women's status is probably a little better than that of the distant past. Some sources say Kaikeyi was brave and intelligent and yet this is not a description many have heard or read so far. This is true of many women in our society. A lack of choice in defining their life makes them a victim to the narrative created by the society. She is what the family portrays her to be. Her opinions are disregarded in the family and the same pattern continues once she is married. If a queen like Kaikeyi had to save the life of the king to be granted a choice, it looks like the only way a common woman would get a seat at the table is by being born as a man.

The structure of families is changing. The rising pace of migration has created an isolated group in the society. Earlier, people could enjoy a life of worship and relaxation by the age of 60. But this scenario no longer holds true for many families. As children migrate, the aging population is forced to play an active role in both daily and income generating activities. The real plight is of those elders who are physically and mentally unable to take care of their needs. Our traditions teach that children are the rightful heir to the property which leaves them with poor financial security in old age. This lack of choice in their finance prevents them deciding how they wish to be taken care of and at times makes them a victim of abuse within their families. 

Now children, women and elderly people have become a vulnerable lot. An awareness campaign is necessary to protect them but it would be wiser if they are given a platform to shape their own lives. A choice to make decisions without fear or pressure would work wonders for their development. We function better when we feel safe and for these three groups giving a choice safeguards their safety in this otherwise hostile world.