Relationship: Substance To Sustain Life

Recently, news emerged about the divorce of a famous singer from her husband. Some people support her, while others blame her ex-husband, and others remain neutral, asserting that it is a personal matter. However, the question remains: who wants to end a relationship intentionally? Is it a person's predetermined plan or desire, or does it simply happen over time?

Ending an intimate relationship may not be a choice for an individual. It is especially difficult to part ways after tying the knot with someone you love. The relationship is a vital aspect of life, which serves as fuel to both individuals, helping them bloom and live the life they imagine. Fortunately, many couples enjoy this journey, either transforming themselves for the better or compromising for each other. It is indeed a wonderful experience to tackle challenges together and have reliable, positive outcomes. 

Growing divorce rate

Unfortunately, some relationships even marriages eventually come to an end. In Nepal, the divorce rate stands at around 4-5 per cent, whereas in countries like the USA, it is as high as 42 per cent annually. However, this rate has decreased from the previous 50 per cent. If we compare Nepal's divorce rate to that of the USA, it is about 10 times lower. In the context of Nepal, although the divorce rate has increased, it is still relatively lower than in other developed countries. Breaking up from relationships is tragic and unfortunate for the individuals involved, as they must essentially start over from the baseline. Some individuals may move on quickly after a breakup, while others struggle with it for a long time, leading to emotional imbalance and mental health issues. 

The decision to end a relationship involves numerous factors. A survey titled "Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education", published in 2013 identified major reasons for breakups. The foremost reason was a lack of commitment, followed by conflicts and arguments, financial issues, domestic violence, infidelity, substance abuse, early marriage, health problems, and a lack of proper education. 

Additionally, factors such as higher expectations from each other, poor communication, diminishing intimate emotional bonding, and lack of mutual appreciation and respect play a critical role in relationship breakups. Lifestyle, habits, individual characteristics, and discrepancies between ideal and real-life scenarios also determine how well relationships endure. For many people being in a relationship is easy, but maintaining the same charm and attraction over time is much harder. Couples often try their best to stay together by tolerating minor hardships, but when equal effort is not reciprocated, the situation worsens. 

Separation is undoubtedly hard to endure, as it drains one's energy, disrupts emotional balance, and disorganises thoughts. However, sometimes compromise reaches its limit, and individuals may feel it is better to move on. For some, separation becomes an opportunity to experience freedom and explore personal choices. Conversely, many people strive to improve their existing relationship to ensure it lasts. So how can we strengthen our relationships? 

Various studies have demonstrated that relationships can be improved by applying certain habits. The foremost effective communication is essential - this includes not just verbal communication, but also non-verbal channels, such as body language, micro-expressions, touch, and other gestures. Another vital aspect is a persistent commitment from both partners. A relationship requires a strong commitment to long-term intimacy, where both individuals dedicate equal effort to move forward together, embracing each other's flaws and imperfections.

Building trust and transparency is another important habit to improve quality relationships. The relationship grows until trust remains, both individuals should walk together with such beliefs about each other's characteristics. Taking full responsibility for one's mistakes and actively working to improve them is another pivotal habit in fostering a healthy relationship. Improving affectionate activities between partners fosters new bonds and strengthens intimacy. Sometimes, individuals expect perfection from their partners, but it is necessary to realise that one must accept imperfections in oneself and others. This realisation should be taken and seen as an opportunity to become their better versions. 

Partners often want to feel understood by their significant other - this requires a genuine effort to listen and empathise. Being a friend to each other, sharing moments, supporting one another in times of need, and engaging in playful and intimate activities are simple yet powerful habits to keep the relationship vibrant and strong. 

Counselling 

By giving your 100 per cent effort, couples can undoubtedly improve their bond. However, if despite all efforts, a couple still feels unfulfilled, seeking help from a psychologist or other professionals may provide valuable support. Ultimately, if nothing seems to work, both partners have the right to make a decision that allows them to live their lives independently.  

In conclusion, relationships not only add beauty to life, but they also provide a deep sense of fulfilment, allowing individuals to become their best selves. As we know life doesn't follow a straight path, relationships too are full of twists and turns. While there are numerous reasons why relationships break down, continuous effort, dedication, and mutual commitment can often preserve and reinforce them. If all efforts fail, seeking help or parting ways peacefully may open up new opportunities to start afresh and live life on one's own terms. 

(The author is a mental health professional and journalist.)