Sharenting Debate: Are We Ignoring Underlying Issue?

One of the highly debated topics of late is whether the social media posting of children's successes, called ‘sharenting’, is positive or negative. Recently, Nepal witnessed the publication of SEE results, following which social media platforms were rife with proud parents posting their children's success stories, particularly highlighting their high grades. While this led to people flooding social media with congratulatory messages hailing the child's milestone, there were other sections of society who were left deeply discontented with the trend, calling it an excessive glorification of success. According to critics, such posts could have negative impacts on other children who fail to pass the iron gates or whose grades are not good enough as per societal standards. 

They further added that such a trend might entangle adolescents in a web of comparison cycle, leading to feelings of inadequacy and pressure. According to them, the consequences might be devastating with the probability of some even experiencing stress, anxiety and mental health issues. Conversely, those who support the widespread exposure of children’s success stories on social media claim that such posts are not excessive glorification or show off of success, but sharing of happy moments, and if perceived positively, sharing success stories can boost children’s own feeling of confidence while encouraging others to study hard. They unapologetically call for the right perspective rather than viewing it from an angle of jealousy. 

Right perspectives 

Though both sides of the debate seem to have valid points, the topic as significant as this calls for much deeper introspection. Firstly, irrespective of widespread criticism, posting success stories on social media platforms is a personal choice. It very much aligns with the fundamental right to freedom as outlined in our country’s constitution. As long as people are posting with the right intention and also for a precious surge of dopamine hit upon receiving congratulatory messages, there is no harm in it. After all, people are by nature born with a desire for appreciation and acknowledgement. Digging deeper, apart from discussing the positives and negatives of posting on social media, there are some underlying issues that must be unearthed to provide the right perspectives on the topic.  

Numerous studies confirm that teenagers today are increasingly caught in the web of a comparison cycle and one of the triggering factors is social media posts. Anxiety, stress and mental health issues are some of the concerns reported by these youngsters. While the perils of exposure to social media platforms cannot be overlooked, the solution is not merely about shifting a blame game on social media but its rather about laying a strong foundation of upbringing for a child who is mentally and emotionally strong and who is not derailed by other’s success but rather is so convinced of owns worth that they feel there is no need of comparison to determine one’s worth. This perspective seems simple and basic at a glance, but it calls for strong parenting.

Each child is born unique with innate qualities. Their experiences are unique; the way they perceive the world around them is unique. Some are introverts, some extroverts. Some might excel in academics, while some in the arts or sports. Comparing them on a single parameter is a huge injustice hurled at them. The world is not merely run by doctors, scientists, or engineers but also by politicians, writers, players, actors, singers, painters, lawyers and so many more. One crucial aspect of parenting is letting children pursue their passions while also encouraging them to excel in academics as well. While evaluating a report card, it’s essential to build upon their good grade subject, rather than singling out poor grade subjects only. This not only boosts children’s self-esteem but also encourages them to work harder on weaker subjects. Orthodox societies are heavily tilted towards grades and since early days, children are conditioned to believe that grades are the ultimate indicator of one’s worth; however, in reality, it is seldom true. 

Successful individuals 

History is rife with examples of many successful individuals who refused to let grades determine their self-worth and eventually went on to build a career that does not fit conventional societal norms. This is not to argue against the importance of grades, but it is to reverse the trend of overemphasizing the grades, the need for celebrating children’s big or small success, which breaks the traditional confines of comparison web and also to stress the importance of right parenting. By prioritizing a child's overall well-being rather than solely focusing on their grades, children can build a deeper sense of self-worth, which is not solely dependent on academic success.

In a nutshell, sharenting a child’s milestone is a matter of personal choice and if done with the right purpose of boosting a child's confidence and encouraging fellow children, can actually create a strong, harmonious society. However, more important than this is to comprehend that the deeper issue is not about posting or not on social media; it’s about raising strong, confident children who know that their self-worth is not contingent on perfect grades. They ought to be taught that winning in life is not about outperforming others in competitive race, getting it posted on social media and consequently getting validation from people across the world, but the real win is more about continuous self-improvement, achieving goals defined by oneself and ultimately being compassionate, fostering well-being for both giver and taker and leading to greater personal and collective success.

(The author is Director & Chief Instructor at Suva Consultancy & Training Institute)