Nishtha Shrestha

When a 16-year-old Greta Thunberg criticised the empty words of the world leaders regarding their policies on climate change, she was labelled too young to understand such a serious issue. However, when the abilities of people like Mozart, Ramanujan, Picasso, are mentioned, they are praised for the heights they achieved from a young age. If merit was the sole basis, Thunberg is no different than the rest. So what then are the criteria to distinguish people based on their age? 

The aforementioned names are exceptions in our society. But even in the general population, this irregularity in age is present. As a child, we are too young to be alone but capable to take care of our siblings in the absence of our parents. Teenagers are constantly in conflict by this dilemma as they are asked to behave like a grown up yet told they are not an adult so they need to follow their parents. The standards are even stranger when an individual is considered eligible for marriage.

An unmarried girl is considered young to have sexual relations at the age of 25. Yet a married woman of the same age is expected to run a household, have a baby and take care of her husband. Girls are taught by the society to avoid boys who are jobless, uneducated, use drugs, etc. But the same boy is deemed as an eligible bachelor the moment he is ready to marry. A woman is considered matured once she is married. A widower aged 60 is considered a young man who is allowed to marry girls half his age. Is age then a social construct which can be manipulated to meet the needs of the society?

Psychologists differentiate age into three types. They are chronological, biological and social age. Chronological age refers to the number of years since our birth. This is the common understanding of age in our society. Biological age is determined based on the status of our physical bodies which can be influenced by genetics, stress, lifestyle, etc. Hence, a 20-year old man can be considered young chronologically but based on his biological age, he can be termed old.

Social age is defined as the maturity displayed by an individual in terms of his interpersonal skills, emotions, thoughts, etc. For example, those who undergo difficulties early in life tend to have a higher social age as compared to those of the same age who were raised under normal circumstances.

Using the above terms, we can see that we use different definitions to deal with situations. For example, a parent uses chronological age to discipline a child while applies social age when assigning a chore. This lack of distinction and awareness among people regarding age makes it confusing for young generation. While we attribute their anger and frustrations as generation gap, it is simply a call to clarify the confusion. Adolescents see the world as black or white but age falls in the grey area.

Instead of scolding them, it is better to explain the reasons behind the denial by the parent. Parents also need to take an initiative to understand their child using this lens. If their child is high in social age, they must try to value their emotions and thoughts rather than dismissing their opinions because they are young. Our experiences define us and not the number of years we have been alive. After all, as they say, “age is just a number”.