Nishtha Shrestha

The lesson of body safety is an essential skill to be taught to children. The concept of good touch and bad touch helps children learn how to establish boundaries about their body from an early age. With the rise in incidences of child sexual abuse, this module of learning needs to be introduced to the school curriculum. Unless children speak out and adults listen to them, it is hard for an abuser to be identified. A simple one-hour lesson can save many children from being a victim to this heinous crime. A recent incident in India is associated with a student who shared her sufferings based on a lesson on body safety. This led to the arrest of a 44-year-old man, who had raped three girls.
Awareness is a key part of any psychosocial programme. But one can argue whether this approach on body awareness places the responsibility of safety on the victim. What happens when the touch is pleasurable? It is hard to categorise the touches into good or bad. How are child sexual abuse programmes helping parents accept that the violence has occurred? If modern parents are aware, then why are crimes against children still on the rise? These questions point to the gap in our approach and emphasise on the need to develop additional steps along with the traditional teaching of good and bad touch.
Fresh media reports on rape of minor girls in different parts of Nepal have once again questioned the safety of women in the society. The feelings of anger, frustration, blame and helplessness are valid. No doubt, voices need to be raised about this injustice. But looking at the result alone will not solve this problem. If we look back at our own lives, what is the earliest memory where we felt uncomfortable? What did we do at that time? How did the adults around us react? This reflection alone will give us an idea of how silence and power are interconnected and how the attitude towards abuse is planted from an early age.
Abuse does not occur in isolation. There is no excuse for the abuse but we are responsible for the creation of an individual who is capable of performing such a crime. Abusers are not a different breed of humans. They were also a part of the society. The different systems of society such as family, school, media, workplace, etc. play a role in shaping the identity of a person. If this is the case, then why does the victim alone bear the consequences of the incident? The spotlight of abuse needs to be broadened to include the agents who are in charge of defining the rules of the society. The good touch, bad touch programme keeps the children safe.
Child sexual abuse is a complex phenomenon. Our attention is focused on the extreme side of the continuum and we fail to see the minor incidents which have set the ground for the end of violence to take place. Good touch, bad touch programme is a useful shield against the early harassment but interactions need not always be physical to be labelled as abuse. Rape is an extreme outcome which could have been learnt through eve teasing, watching scenes that objectify women, relentless flirting, bullying, etc. The cost of our ignorance towards early signs of abuse is being borne by the innocent victims. Unless the small cases of abuse are prevented, the cumulative effect will be a difficult problem to resolve.