Rubina Dhital

To be young, free and in love they say. It was late 70’s when she sure was young. But her love was gone long before she got a chance to understand what love actually was and she was never going to be free since she was chained to her own thoughts every passing second.
She grew up in a patriarchal society where women were objectified and possessed by men-- a society where she was taught how to behave and act as a loyal wife to her husband. Her sole responsibility was to cook and feed her family and now that her husband was no more alive, she was quite lost. She did not have the slightest idea about how long she had to live and lead her life alone. Nobody ever told her that it was okay to seek love in someone else and live a happy life. Hence, it was not for her to decide or choose to live a life of her choice. In a world full of opportunities, she did not dare to dream otherwise. Here comes the society with a major role. It makes you a prisoner by confining you according to their wants. It is an irony that we form the society, making us the prisoner of our own. The society made it difficult for her to want/need some love, not just the society. Do you think she ever thought that she deserved some love or care? If you were to ask me, no she didn’t as she was too caught up about what others might think about her according to the societal norms.
Although she was young and vulnerable, she was also strong and determined. Even though her husband may have defined her life, now it was hers to handle it by her except for the fact that she was forbidden to seek love for herself. You say Love! Do you think if she ever fell in love with her husband? Or was she just fulfilling her duty as a devoted wife to her late husband like the society wants? Now that he is no more, how often do you think she remembers her husband not just as a man who provided her and their children, but as a man whom she dearly loved? She could and never would have opened up about her feelings/desires to anyone as she was never taught that opening up would help her. Instead, it was labelled up as an embarrassment. All the hidden emotions from decades piled up which left her with nothing but a heavy heart, leaving her helpless, blaming it on her fate and weeping to lone self.
Statistics may show increased women education and involvement, but what about the society? Are we still the same bunch of hypocrites with unaltered behaviour or are we doing better now? Have a look around you and your surrounding and there lies your answer. We may every now and then see a privileged women standing against the society and fighting for her rights but what about those who lack these insights and live under a shadow unaware about existence of such rights? It really is a high time for us to be less judgemental, and support each other and willingly fight against the long standing toxic cultures which act a barrier to a normal and healthy lifestyle. Till date there sure arises many moral unanswered questions of which some questions are never asked, answers never heard and the stories goes untold…
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