Pushpa Priya

Good parenting is not an easy task, as it demands a lot of patience, determination, courage, optimistic vision and unconditional love. Mostly, the things are going to be more challenging and difficult to handle with at the time of adversities like COVI-19 pandemic.
Majority of parents are experiencing psychological distress in the form of fear and anxiety that often is the outcome of the uncertainty of present and future fulfilling the expectation for oneself and the demands of the family members because of limited resources.

Opportunity
However, it is a great opportunity for parents to demonstrate their inner qualities and highest potential to make positive changes within; that may have a positive impact on children as well.
For this, parents should work on themselves first to manage stress-free life through adopting a fixed routine for meditation, breathing exercise and physical exercise. And, focus on imbibing different skills to their children that help little ones grow into emotionally strong and positive personage in the days to come.
Parents should imbibe different skills in children through proper guidance that help them to cope with every challenge that the future has planned for them. And, Emotional Intelligence and positive affirmation are the most powerful skills in shaping children's future.
Research has shown that emotional intelligence (EI) is more important than Intelligence quotient(IQ) to spend a happy and successful life. In order to compete in a global marketplace and to make smooth stability EI plays the most significant role.
Perceiving these parents should help their children grow emotionally intelligent. Emotional Intelligence comprises awareness, understanding, and the ability to express and manage one's emotions. Dr John Gottman, American Psychologist through his research studies shows that children who are brought up by better emotions coaching parents turn out to be successful in academics and get along better with the peer group.
According to him, there are some ways to make children develop emotional intelligent; and for this, parents must work. Parents should be aware of their own and children's emotions and should take it as an opportunity to connect with a strong emotional bond with the child.
They should give full attention to the emotional expression of the children and make them realise about the way they are experiencing through emotions. Once parents listened carefully of children's emotional expression, need to make them aware of their driven emotions.
Afterwards, children should be taught with problem-solving skills; and for this, they should be said that their emotion is acceptable but not all behaviours. For instance, when a child gets angry and hits or harm one and others; they should be said that their anger emotions could be acceptable but not the action or behaviour come out of it as harming oneself and others.
In this way, they may learn not to worsen the situation through disruptive behaviours. This involves helping children in setting goals and generating solutions to achieve them. Emotional coaching varies with dealing with both child and emotional make-up of children, and sometimes it is time taking; and therefore parents should remain patient, calm and determined with a positive mind.

Mistakes
Children make mistakes. And it is okay since they are going to learn from it. However, parents should work on it taking mistakes done by a child as an opportunity to develop mental strength that assures a peaceful, happy and successful life.
Mostly children imitate the behaviour of their parents. If parents grow emotionally strong, they can be an exemplary or good role model for children. Parents should help children by making decision skills and problem-solving skills. For instance, if the child is stick to gadget for long hours; parents should talk about its pros and cons; and let him/her decide. Children may internalize by the time by picking the best option.
Children should also be taught anger management skills by helping them differentiate between feelings and behaviours. According to Dr. Nadia Persun, Clinical Psychologist, there are some strategies for managing anger. Perceiving anger in children is an opportunity for parents to adopt some strategies to calm them.
Anger is a basic universal emotion and it is natural. If we do not allow children to express anger that will be unhealthy. They should be known about every emotion. When they are allowed to display their emotions and guided with the appropriate way of handling it, that may help them in developing problem-solving skills and coping with any kind of emotions.
In the context of managing emotions, parents should work on three areas emotions awareness, labelling them and teaching children to produce healthy behavioural responses and solutions; calming them and relaxing.
Children who can inhibit impulses (often driven by emotions) and avoid any kind of distractions are able to accomplish their goals in life. Emotional Intelligence(EI) benefits children with a happy and successful life in every aspect.
This skill helps in problem-solving and managing any kind of conflict in personal and professional life. Children with a high level of emotional intelligence are less prone to mental health issues. American Academy of Pediatrics(AAP) advised parents not to use any kind of technology to calm the negative emotions of their children as it may generate many problems including the inability of children to develop their emotion regulation.
Parents should accept and be very tolerant of every emotion of the children. If parents start punishing for the negative emotions imposed by their children, it may result in disturbing the emotional balance of both children and parents; and children start growing emotionally weak and vulnerable to any difficult situation in life. Parents should take acceptance of every emotion of children as an opportunity to teach them with labelling and tolerating.
Similarly, parents should help children in practising positive affirmation that may have positive reinforcement and excels self-esteem of children. Besides, it assists in recognising their strength and develop a healthy and positive concept.

Positivity
Focusing on positivity every time will train the subconscious mind and they develop a positive self-image. It helps in building resilience among children and make the struggling journey of life easy through positive motivation. Parents should praise their children for every small effort as it works magically in boosting the level of confidence. According to Heather Wallace, Positive Parenting Expert, affirmations are a powerful tool in helping children grow into their positive identity.
She says what we sow, we get. It means if we bring positive affirmation in daily practice among children; they will focus on positive traits and reproduce the same in their life. Children should be taught to accept both compliments and criticism as it takes both sun and rain for a flower to bloom.

(The writer teaches English at a college)